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Beware the Creeper!

Iain's life as a psychotic crimefighter

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Why I hate benpeek

  • He wipes his arse with the Koran (because the covers of ASIM are too glossy)
  • He gutted my girlfriend and wore her as a suit, and I didn't find out until our second child
  • He once rang up George Lucas and said "Do you what Star Wars really needs? Three prequels."
  • He shot John Lennon
  • He shot Michael Buble and missed
  • Eight years ago he introduced John Howard to George Bush at the Midnight Shift
  • He won't return my gimp mask
  • He smokes the ashes of unborn foetuses in a joint and bogarts it
  • Although he is a doctor, he refuses to look at this pain I get in my right knee
  • The only Australian author he actively recommends to overseas editors is Di Morrissey
    • And himself
  • After Paris Hilton choked to death on his manhood, he resuscitated her
  • He's "good mates" with Alan Jones
    • who he resuscitated as well
  • He's the only writer to be regularly published in Agog and Midget Amputee Weekly (where he writes the sports section)
  • His doctorate only contains one noun
    • and it's "cunt"
  • And then he'll turn on the puppy dog eyes and the simpering expression and push down sharply on your prostate gland and expect you to promote his book

No. I will not play your game. Fuck you, Ben Peek.

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Fuck you, Ben Peek

Uh oh. Need some resuscitation?

sorry, can't speak with my mouth full.

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